Have you ever looked back at your old artworks and thought that you used to be better? That is what I sometimes think when I browse through my DA gallery. I see some drawings that I did almost three years ago, and I cannot help but feel that they are better than my last ones. Maybe not on a technical level, because I know that I have gotten better in this field. But when it comes to creativity, or just the beauty of a piece... I am not so sure. I have the impression that my old pieces used to be more attractive, more eye-catching. But I think I may be able to point out what has happened.

I used to draw what I really liked, without thinking about originality or concept. If I wanted to draw a mermaid, I just drew it without thinking twice. As I was constrained by my technical limits, I only drew a simple pose that I mastered, so the composition of the piece was not a big issue: I already had a starting point, which was a "technically-constrained" position of my character, and I just had to complete it.
But now that I have gotten better technically, one new problem has appeared: I have to create everything. I have no starting point giving some direction to my artworks anymore. I have to think about the composition of my artwork before I actually start it (or that is how it sometimes feels), which makes a piece harder to start as I am often unsatisfied with my initial composition. Being freer technically has restrained my creativity, how ironic! XD Well, I do know that solving this psychological problem is entirely up to me, so I am not dabiolizing technique here.   

So I believe that my main problem is that I have evolved... Yeaaah XD My goal is not to draw a beautiful piece with beautiful characters and beautiful dresses anymore. I am now in an experimental period. I want to get better technically, experiment different techincs and mediums so that I will be able to be more and more creative; Novelty, experimentation and technique are my current worries. I think that can explain why I am less careful about the finishing and the beauty of a piece, those things that used to matter the most.

After that long introspection, I feel better... I have indeed lost a bit of that freshness that I had when I started to draw, but I do not think that I have definitely regressed. On the contrary, I believe that experimeting is a good thing that I have to keep doing. Hmm yes, that is what I am going to do

/RANT